What's in a name?

Assalamu Aleikum!

I've got 3 names or at least I have for the last 17 years. I have my Muslim name of Yahya that I adopted on my conversion, my name of Guy given by my parents and my family name. I had always moved effortlessly between them depending on who I was talking to. At work and to most non-muslims I was Guy; to Muslims I was Yahya and to some people who knew me in both worlds I was both Guy and Yahya.

When you move to the UAE there are lots of forms to fill in and officials to meet (often on more than one occasion). At these meetings my name of Yahya (it's on my passport) is met by confusion. The pale skin and dark hair lead some to think I'm Lebanese until they encounter my poor Arabic. Almost all are even more confused when I explain I'm from Britain (I never explain Wales as it only adds to the confusion!). "But you don't speak Arabic." I patiently explain that there are many Muslims in the UK who are not fluent in Arabic and that I am not some weird aberration from Cardiff. At this they usually scratch their heads as if to say 'Well, I never!'

One notable exception to all this was while in the bank in my little town in the desert. I was with 2 non-muslim colleagues asking about bank cards and the like. The woman serving us was dressed in the full abaya and was helpfully answering all our queries. While looking through our papers she noticed the name Yahya. The confused look started to appear and she said," Yahya, that's a Muslim name."

"Yes, that's right. I'm Muslim."

"Oh really. Well, congratulations!"

Any forms we have in English are always translated into Arabic and there's a thriving industry of translators. While awaiting processing of my application for a UAE driving licence I took a look at a form in Arabic which had been translated back into English. The form included my name and had obviously caused a lot of head scratching by the translator to judge from the scribbling out. My name of Guy had been translated into Arabic but there was no 'G' so the original translator had opted for jeem. Being put back into English made my name Joy. That was the translator's first choice but unfortunately Joy is a female name and I am most definitely male. So he opted for Joey. The only Joey I could think of was the character in Friends. So here I am with another new name. How am I going to break the news to my parents?

Masalamah

Yahya Joey